On Rediscovering Hobbies!

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I love the idea of rediscovering hobbies, blogged by Candles Online! What hobbies have you had which you could rediscover?  Where’s my guitar…?

Mo

…..

  • Hobbies keep us cheerful and happy.
  • Hobbies refresh us and help us to refocus on our major assignments.
  • Hobbies have a positive effect on our mind and we stay composed mentally.
  • Hobbies are the greatest stress busters.
  • Hobbies in physical nature build our muscles and keep us healthy.
  • Hobbies help us to rediscover ourselves and help us to understand ourselves better.
  • Hobbies help us to define our strengths and weaknesses by letting us know our talents.
  • Hobbies help us to be confident and bring about self belief. 

One scripture portion always helped me and inspired me to be on my toes:

“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going.”

From :  https://candlesonline.wordpress.com/2016/07/31/rediscovering-a-new-self-through-hobbies/

DBT- could it help you too?

2e3bead43728b0072795936bd014a52dI’ve been in Psychotherapy for a number of years and don’t plan to quit anytime soon!  I feel it gives me some of the best skills in handling life and the accompanying stress that comes along with it.

In my several years I have learned much about dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) Once an area that was reserved for only those who were diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, DBT has become a skill set that psychologists are teaching to a wide variety of patients who may be struggling with a wide variety of emotional regulation.

I love DBT especially because it includes mindfulness training. Mindfulness is learning to stay in the present without time traveling. It’s eliminating the “if onlys” and the “what ifs” (which are past and future worries).

There are four modules to DBT-read below and see if it’s for you! I hope you learn something new from this post!

Mo

The Four Skill Modules

DBT Skills training is made up of four modules: core mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. They are designed to specifically assist individuals in better managing behaviors, emotions and thoughts. The intent is to help people who experience problems with anger or the expression of anger, episodic depression, irritability or anxiety, intense or chaotic relationships, impulsivity, stress and feelings of emptiness.

Core Mindfulness teaches a person how to focus their mind and attention. Distress Tolerance develops acceptance of the current situation as well as crisis survival skills to decrease the likelihood of engaging in problematic behavior. Emotion Regulation skills include learning to identify and label current emotions, identifying obstacles to changing emotions, reducing emotional reactivity, increasing positive emotions and changing emotions. Interpersonal Effectiveness skills teach helpful strategies for asking for what one needs, saying no, and coping with interpersonal conflict.

 

Mindfulness SkillsCore Mindfulness Skills
Mindfulness skills in DBT come from the eastern spiritual traditions. These skills help members focus on the present and attend to what is happening in the here and now in a calm way. It helps people slow down and focus on doing what is needed to care for oneself in the moment. Members learn the value of wise mind instead of succumbing to intense emotions and acting in a destructive way.

 

 

Distress Tolerance Skills
Distress tolerance helps people get through difficult times when emotions are running high. It teaches people to soothe themselves in healthy ways when they are feeling upset rather than becoming overwhelmed by emotions or hiding from them. This allows individuals to make wise decisions about whether and how to take action, rather than falling into the intense, desperate and often-destructive emotional reactions. Crisis survival skills are also taught so that one does not engage in problematic behaviors and ultimately make the situation worse. Reality Acceptance Skills focus on helping people fully accept reality and provide a guideline for responding to painful aspects of life.

 

Interpersonal Effectiveness SkillsInterpersonal Effectiveness Skills
Interpersonal effectiveness skills involve helping people understand what their needs are in their relationships and helps develop effective ways of dealing with others in order to get one’s wants or needs met in a healthy way. This involves respecting the self and others, listening and communicating effectively, dealing with difficult people, repairing relationships and being able to say no.

 

 

Emotion REgulation SkillsEmotion Regulation Skills
The DBT emotion regulation skills help people understand their emotions. It teaches people to decrease the intensity of their feelings and helps them ride out strong emotions without acting on them. It provides education about the function of emotions and how to not be swamped by them.

From: http://www.dbtskillsgroupnj.com/four-skill-modules/

A victim no more!

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Owning Our Power

Don’t you see? We do not have to be so victimized by life, by people, by situations, by work, by our friends, by our love relationships, by our family, by our feelings, our thoughts, our circumstances, and ourselves.

We are not victims. We do not have to be victims. That is the whole point!

Yes, admitting and accepting powerlessness is important. But that is the first step, an introduction to this business of recovery. Later, comes owning our power. Changing what we can. This is as important as admitting and accepting powerlessness. And there is so much we can change.

We can own our power, wherever we are, wherever we go, whomever we are with. We do not have to stand there with our hands tied, groveling helplessly, submitting to whatever comes along. There are things we can do. We can speak up. Solve the problem. Use the problem to motivate ourselves to do something good for ourselves.

We can make ourselves feel good. We can walk away. We can come back on our terms. We can stand up for ourselves. We can refuse to let others control and manipulate us.

We can do what we need to do to take care of our selves. That is the beauty, the reward, the crown of victory we are given in this process called recovery. It is what it is all about!

If we can’t do anything about the circumstance, we can change our attitude. We can do the work within: courageously face our issues so we are not victimized. We have been given a miraculous key to life.

We are victims no more unless we want to be.

Freedom and joy are ours for the taking, for the feeling, for the hard work we have done.

Today, I will remind myself as often as necessary that I am not a victim, and I do not need to be victimized by whatever comes my way. I will work hard to remove myself as a victim, whether that means setting and enforcing a boundary, walking away, dealing with my feelings, or giving myself what I need. God, help me let go of my need to feel victimized.

Mo

-from The Language of Letting Go, by Melody Beatty