The Truth is What We Save From the Fire

Recovery programs call our useless running, “getting something we don’t have,” or “keeping something we don’t want to lose.” Greg Baer, in his book, Real Love, calls it “Getting and Protecting Behavior.” Whatever you call it, it’s how we shield ourselves from pain. Check out blogger Matt”s great insights about this tough part of existence! Thanks Matt!
Mo

Must Be This Tall To Ride

Value of hard things vs. easy things Like vigorous exercise, a disciplined reading regiment, and giving more than we take in our marriages, there is VALUE — tons of it — in doing hard things. So maybe don’t run away. Maybe allowing ourselves to feel is THE way. (Image/Carl Richards – New York Times)

I’m afraid of someone using a circular handsaw to cut open my skull.

But I’m more afraid of dying, so if the choice is certain death or brain surgery, I would choose brain surgery.

I’m afraid of jumping off of 100-foot cliffs into unknown waters.

But I’m more afraid of being eaten by big-ass dinosaurs, so if a genetically modified hybrid Jurassic World dinosaur was chasing me, I would totally jump if the alternative was being Indominus Rex’s lunch.

Broken down in the most primitive way possible, human beings are motivated by just two things:

  1. Feeling pleasure
  2. Avoiding pain

Psychologists say most people…

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On being multi-racial in America

“Get in where you fit in.”

Where’s that? Got a map?  I am seen as “black” in America. I have chocolate skin and a doctorate-level degree.  I am told I, “sound white,” on the phone. Imagine the surprise when I show up!

Actually, I am an adopted African American with the addition of Irish and Cherokee ancestry, so…I guess I am multi-racial. I was educated in an all-white community, so I didn’t, “get the memo,” about the anomaly of “sounding white,” until much later in life.

My two teenagers are… whatever I am (LOL), plus their dad, who is “white,” with German and Irish/Scottish ancestry. So they are…errr, light-skinned black children in America? Really, they are less than half black, but I explained the “one-drop” rule (look it up) to them early on, lest they make the mistake of getting out of line by acknowledging their ancestry in its totality! They, too, sound,”white.” Poor things…

Is Obama really our first black president?  It depends on who you ask. My kids see him as “bi-racial, like they are.” However, many Americans see my bi-racial son as a black teenager while my daughter is called “exotic,” at times, her heritage turned into a sort of racial guessing-game. Nervertheless, they both pass the “paper-bag” rule. (Look it up)

To be honest, all this cr*p makes me tired. As you might have guessed, we would prefer being seen simply as “people.”

Fear not! Here’s an excellent NPR book review that moved me to think about the deeper issues that come with being of mixed-race in America, especially for this talented writer, Mat Johnson.

Mo

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Novelist Mat Johnson Explores The ‘Optical Illusion’ Of Being Biracial

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Loving Day
Loving Day

by Mat Johnson

Hardcover, 287 pages

purchase

Growing up in Philadelphia, Mat Johnson lived mostly with his mother in a black neighborhood. The son of an African-American mother and an Irish-American father, his skin was so light that he might have passed for white. But being biracial meant only one thing back in the ’70s: “Um, it meant: black,” Johnson says with a laugh. “There wasn’t a lot of ambiguity there. I didn’t hear the world biracial or didn’t think of myself as biracial. And when I did hear that, I reacted to it defensively. I thought it was just black people of mixed heritage who were just trying to run away from blackness.”

Johnson was born three years after Loving Day — the historic 1967 Supreme Court decision which made interracial marriage legal. His new novel, Loving Day, is a funny, sometimes absurd look at what it means to be mixed race in this country.

These days, Johnson has a more nuanced way to describe his racial identity. He says he is a mixed person of African-American descent. But he also uses another, more loaded word, to describe himself: mulatto.

“A lot mixed people hate that word,” Johnson says. “People in general hate that word. A lot of times they think it references mule, but it’s a lot older than that. It has Arabic roots. And historically that’s been the term often used for African Americans, first generation, who are mixed. So to me, it connects me to my past. But I think those identities — mixed identity and African-American identity — can co-exist.”

Johnson has a lot in common with the main character in his novel. Warren Duffy is also of Irish-African descent. He also grew up in Philadelphia, lived with his mother in a black neighborhood and like Johnson, Warren is very light skinned. Early in the book, he calls himself a “racial optical illusion.”

Mat Johnson is the author of Pym, Drop, Hunting in Harlem and The Great Negro Plot as well as several graphic novels including Incognegro, Dark Rain and Right State.

Mat Johnson is the author of Pym, Drop, Hunting in Harlem and The Great Negro Plot as well as several graphic novels including Incognegro, Dark Rain and Right State.

Meera Bowman Johnson

The people who see me as white always will, and will think it’s madness that anyone else could come to any other conclusion, holding to this falsehood regardless of learning my true identity. The people who see me as black cannot imagine how a sane, intelligent person could be so blind not to understand this, despite my pale-skinned presence.

As the book begins, Warren is confronted by a teenage girl who turns out to be his daughter. Tal was raised by her Jewish mother who has since died and her grandfather can no longer take care of her. Tal has never thought of herself as racially mixed, much less black. To help her to explore her new racial identity Warren enrolls his daughter in a school which turns out to be more like a mixed race commune.

“A kind of bi-racial militant separatist group is the quickest way to define it,” Johnson says. “It’s all people of European and African heritage, first generation who are kind of violently — not violently, but emotionally violently — trying to get this balance between their African-American heritage and their European-American heritage.”

Melange, as the commune is called, is full of odd characters and misfits all trying to come to terms with their racial identities. The “oreos” are white on the inside and black on the outside. The “sunflowers,” including Warren, are white on the outside, black inside. Ideally they’re supposed to learn to accept both sides of themselves. In reality, they follow a great American tradition when it comes to race: self-segregation.

“The fact that they’re already pulling into gangs basically shows how well it’s going,” Johnson says. “This idea — we all should have balance in our lives and the balance is incredibly important and often times the key to some sort of serenity. However balance is incredibly difficult. Balance is walking along a fence in bare feet and trying not to fall off.”

Warren does manage to steer his daughter into understanding what it means to be a mixed race woman — and he also manages to fall in love, with a woman who challenges his own ideas about racial identity.

Most African Americans, Johnson says, do have some white heritage though no one really wants to talk about that. But he says there is a growing movement of people who do want to talk about what it means to be bi-racial.

“Most people of mixed heritage they grow up minorities in their own house,” he says. “Unless they have many, many siblings, they are the only or one of the only people of their exact ethnic makeup. And so, to me, this idea with Loving Day was a chance to explore a group identity, because most of the work that has been done on mixed experience just focuses on the ‘I.’ And so I think the one thing I really wanted to do with this book was focus on the ‘we’ and what does that ‘we’ mean.”

Writing this book was scary, says Johnson, because it felt like he was publicly coming out as “mixed identified” and he knows some people won’t get that — and some won’t like it. But he says needed to do it … for himself.

http://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2015/05/24/408791207/novelist-mat-johnson-explores-the-optical-illusion-of-being-biracial

Buddha’s Brain

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Today I began reading the widely-acclaimed book, Buddha’s Brain, which explains the anxiety/stress reaction in masterful detail and in a way I can understand. I now agree that, “pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” I have practiced and lead meditation for years, but seeing the positive neurological effects in black and white has me reeling! I highly advise you to venture into the science of meditation.  It’s absolutely life-changing!

Mo