PORN, a poem

pornography won’t teach you how

to build a life together

pornography won’t teach you how

to get through stormy weather

pornography won’t tell you that

it’s really just a lie

pornography it wants to get

attention on the sly

pornography breaks up the home

and breaks the people in it

pornography’s illusion makes

you think that you can win it

pornography’s a game of chance

no win -it’s lose or draw

when you have watched porn you’ll wish that

you hadn’t ever saw

the filthy images of girls and

women being exploited

the marriages split up before they

had a chance to fight

pornography’s a silent killer

trying to take you down

that’s why you have to watch it in

the middle of the night

‘cause it’s the biggest secret from your

mate that you can keep

“no harm, no foul,” you say but know

your spouse they cannot sleep

they know that your affection is

perverted and divided

and that’s how divorce comes and stays and

that’s how it’s decided

so if you want to keep your marriage

stay away from porn

so many broken marriages

so many lives were torn

from this a harmless bit of

entertainment video

but when the damage happens you’ll see

that it’s time to go

and leave your marriage on the rocks ‘cause

porn has taken over

those images upon the screen are

like a drunken sober

‘cause rarely do they help your marriage

mostly they do harm

so put your porn away and take

your marriage back to charm

if you can put it down you’ll see

the benefits will grow

you will no longer need to watch

that pornographic show

you’ll stop confusing love and sex and

you’ll begin to wonder

just how you could’ve let pornography

take you down under

there’s hope for all the porno fans

who will come clean today

so put away the porn and join

your spouse in a new way

forgiveness is a godly plan with

God is where you’ll stay

come back to love come back to truth and

PUT THE PORN AWAY

(C) Copyright -Stacey M. Patterson (Mo) and MugglestonesAndMayhem. All rights reserved..

Screw It

A poem about mental illness

My mothers rage is off the page

she can’t control emotion

her laughter and her tears are like

the current of the ocean

Her hate and her deceit are like

an awful witches potion

when I was small she shook me ‘til

I couldn’t stand the motion

I don’t know why I keep returning

back to her again

her alternating love and hate make her a crummy friend

and if I cross her she’ll discard me

like she never knew me

pretend she didn’t raise me and

then probably try to sue me

cause she forgets just how much that

I do for her each day

to pay her bills and save her from

her own financial fray

she’ll gossip and try to make sure

the family stays divided

but we have learned the hard way that

we’ve got to stay united

they say detach with love but I

don’t know that I can do it

I get so tired of her that

I usually say, “screw it!”

and leave her to her own devices

chaos fear and all

I really do not want to talk so

please don’t make that call

‘cause I’ll ignore it and go on

about my busy day

she lives all the way across town

and that is where she’ll stay

they said that I should speak my truth

they say to be defiant

but when I get away from her all that I want is quiet

her mental Illnesses’s getting worse

her borderline is showing

my impatience with what she does

is thereby daily growing

And so I’ll take care of myself and really all should do it

And when we’re fed up with her actions

we can say “just screw it!”

(C) Copyright -Stacey M. Patterson (Mo) and MugglestonesAndMayhem. All rights reserved.

The Healing Place

what is this place? I just can’t see

why it’s so crowded here

who made this place I stumbled upon

it sometime last year

who runs this place? it seems the owners

have begun to serve

I see YOUR face although MY mask

stays put and undisturbed…

what do you do in such a place

so bright and full of air?

my lungs aren’t used to feeling this

I have such darkness there

but look at you -you’re all abuzz

and sharing all your stories

I cannot comprehend where you are

getting all your glory

I’ve been shut down so long you see

that I don’t have a voice

but you tell me to, “speak on up,”

that now I have a choice?

and so I open up my mouth

though nothing does come out

you take me by the hand and you

encourage me to shout

“OK,” I say and then my little

voice with such a quiver

erupts from my dead soul and gives my

body quite the shiver

I can’t believe I’m speaking out

I don’t know how this happened

if I don’t shut my mouth I fear

you might just send me packing

but you encourage me to sing

my song although it’s sad

the feelings tumble out

-and now I’m mad

-and now i’m glad

you say,”go on and spit it out!!

your truth we want to hear –

get it off your chest so that

your consciousness is clear –

you can’t keep secrets deep within

it makes you such a liar –

and getting honest cleanses you

with God‘s eternal fire!

and when you think you’ve said it all then

try to go much deeper –

and dig up all the anger that has

left you so beleaguered.”

and so I set my hand to write

and spew it forth for hours

and strangely it begins to blossom

just like little flowers

although my past has given me

a dark blot on my soul

if I can get this out of me…then

somehow I’ll be whole.

(C) Copyright -Stacey M. Patterson (Mo) and MugglestonesAndMayhem. All rights reserved.

CREEPY- a poem

U. R.

creepy 

even when you try to say you’re not

with strippers

& night time’s when you smoked a little pot

greedy

bigger house and bigger cars we bought

parents

pay your bills and hope you don’t get caught

“Lourissa”

that’s her name and don’t you say it’s not

a secret

hustlers for 10 grand is what you bought

lies

in a web I feel like I was caught

ex

quick divorce or my burial plot

disgusting

NASCAR tapes of boobs because they’re HOT

silence

in the house because we never fought

you’re angry

because I told the children you were not

so perfect

and you weren’t the daddy that they thought

regret

might be the word but sorry I am not

heartbroken

i fell in love with you and I got caught

two

years of sexless “love” is what you wrought

never

good enough that’s truly what I thought

found

love elsewhere- i didn’t want to rot

I

now know good relationships aren’t bought

fresh truth

that is why this cleansing poem I jot

stronger

in spite of you- a victim I am not

love

‘tis the only thing i ever sought

deception

that is the only thing you really brought

a lesson

in fooling people that is what you taught

ME.

(C) Copyright -Stacey M. Patterson (Mo) and MugglestonesAndMayhem. All rights reserved.

GROWN -a poem

my picker broke at age 13

a GROWN man loved me -just a teen

he sang me love songs on the phone

while he pretended I was GROWN

two years later through a friend

virginity came to an end

New Year’s eve and pink champagne

forced it on me, gave me pain

four weeks later I’m bewildered

baby boy or girl -we killed it

sterile rooms and sterile halls

after making just one call

for a week the pain remained

our “relationship” was strained

filling me with vengeful thoughts

of how I’ll hurt him, not get caught

three boys later feeling low

having dealt a crushing blow

I’m no longer only HIS

still he wouldn’t let me go

my revenge it tasted fine

even though I crossed MY line

tell him I’m not property

keep your GROWN hands off of me

though I see that you’re repenting

at this age there’s no consenting

people say it’s just plain wrong but

give me whiskey, or a bong

and I just might do anything

you shut my mouth,”don’t say a thing”

and if I’d wait around for you

you promised me a wedding too

college started I remember

leaving you in that September

broke the lock, escaped my cage

saw you fly into a rage

though I’d finally broken free

I’m scarred for all eternity

seeking peace while waging war

everyone’s a predator

see your eyes in others’ faces

finding you in other spaces

wonder why you’re following me

when I asked you to let me be

a part of my life you remain

just like a bloodstain on my brain

this trauma I must learn to own

‘cause people say that I am GROWN

(C) Copyright -Stacey M. Patterson (Mo) and MugglestonesAndMayhem. All rights reserved.

Christmas Mayhem – a poem

“…for folks whose Christmas was RUFF.”

 

Holiday season it’s that time of year

everyone wishing one another good cheer

 

wrapping the boxes for family and friends

Christmas cards signed and ready to send

 

Christmas is coming I hope it goes well

good day or bad day you never can tell

 

I pray to the heavens and hope for the best

it seems every year has a Christmas day test

 

traveling across town to visit and eat

wishing them well all the people I meet

 

eating the food it’s prepared with precision

my belly’s so stuffed it’s impairing my vision

 

opening presents and hoping for peace

an argument starts and I want it to cease

 

so I grab my purse and rush out to my car

wondering why I have traveled this far

 

rushing back home escaping the crazy

mom’s getting old and her memory’s hazy

 

picking my battles and knowing it’s right

leaving immediately when she wants to fight

 

driving is peaceful I call a few friends

tell them I love them and miss them again

 

holiday season can be tough it’s true

make sure to remember I treasure it too

 

arriving back home I just sit in Dad’s driveway

bowing my head and beginning to pray

 

asking my God to forgive me for leaving

knowing it would’ve been folly to stay

 

thankful for having calmed down from the ride

bracing myself and going inside

 

finding my dad to be lit -he’s not sober

I wish that this Christmas day would be over

 

pretend it’s OK and just go with the flow

we’ll have to put off christmas till tomorrow

 

retreat to my room and there I will stay

wondering what happened to this Christmas day

 

try again next year that’s all I can do

I will get better -hope my family does too

(C) Copyright -Stacey M. Patterson (Mo) and MugglestonesAndMayhem. All rights reserved.