Albert Woolum, White Navy Veteran, Kneels in a Black Lives Matter Shirt During National Anthem to Support Girls’ Volleyball Team — GOOD BLACK NEWS

Three words: “Thank you, Sir.”

Mo

 

article via thegrio.com On Friday night, cheerleaders for the DeSoto and Cedar Hill high schools’ football teams in Texas knelt during the national anthem before the game between their two schools to protest the treatment of people of color in the United States. What’s more, on Tuesday, the DeSoto girls’ volleyball team took a knee during […]

via Albert Woolum, White Navy Veteran, Kneels in a Black Lives Matter Shirt During National Anthem to Support Girls’ Volleyball Team — GOOD BLACK NEWS

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South African teen girls are protesting against their school’s racist hair policy — Fusion

Wow. I am aghast at this blatant racism against these lovely South African young girls! Great job young ladies. Keep fighting for the freedom to be yourself and love yourself just as you are. Your natural hair is the essence of your beauty as a creation of a loving God. Same stuff goes on in America…(smh)

Mo

TwitterTeenage girls in South Africa are leading a protest movement against their school’s discriminatory hair code–which they say targets black students’ natural hair–and is a symbol of the wider environment of racism at the school. Students at Pretoria High School for Girls began protesting last Friday after a black student was reprimanded for writing an…

via South African teen girls are protesting against their school’s racist hair policy — Fusion

Wow! Watch this lovely white 8th grade boy get real re ‘white boy privilege’ — Fusion

YouTubeSometimes the strongest messages come from the most unexpected places. In a video being widely circulated on Twitter on Monday morning, Royce Mann, an eighth grade student from Atlanta, is shown performing a slam poem titled “White Boy Privilege.” Across the social network, the video is being celebrated as the definition of responsible self-analysis by…

via Everyone should watch this eighth grader performing an epic poem about ‘white boy privilege’ — Fusion

Green flags are important too- dating

Kudos to Cliff for this insight into looking on the bright side of dating. I usually am quick to watch for red flags with “new recruits,” LOL, but I have now learned that watching for positive attributes is also a worthy endeavor. Check out Cliff”s wisdom below. Cliff, thanks for you optimistic outlook!

Mo

Gren Flags

There’s a lot of articles out there about “red flags” to watch out for when you’re dating someone.  My favorite is the discussion of “Darth Vaders” in the comments to this post by Captain Awkward. The concept can certainly be used for victim-blaming–saying “why didn’t you spot all the red flags?” is a great way to kick someone when they’re down–but it’s a good tool for someone facing the dating world.

A couple years back, I went on a date with a guy, jokingly disagreed with him about some silly thing I don’t even remember, and he hit me.  Straight-up slapped me on the arm, hard enough to hurt, not hard enough to bruise.  He wasn’t my boyfriend or anything; this was our second date.  I yelled “Hey!” and he started laughing and told me it was a joke and it’s not like he really hit hit me, and I was probably taking everything soseriously because I was an uptight feminist, but he was willing to forgive me for that so long as I went ahead and laughed with him at this wonderful joke he’d made.

He called me for a third date and I did not call back.  I was closer than I’d like to admit to being sucked into the “it was a joke! horseplay! are you really going to hold that against him?” thing, but then I thought in terms of red flags.  Physically striking someone on a date is one of the reddest flags there is.  Even though I couldn’t quite convince myself that the hitting itself was wrong, I could understand that it was a sign of wrong things coming.  I think that understanding saved me a lot of pain.

But the mere absence of red flags doesn’t really say anything good about a person, does it?  “I went on a date with the most wonderful guy!  I don’t think he’ll emotionally or physically abuse me!  What a catch!”

So let’s talk about green flags.  (Um.  White flags?  …Cyan flags?)  Signs that someone is mature enough for a relationship, that they have a healthy attitude toward relationships, and that they have the potential to be a caring and responsible partner.  This isn’t about compatibility–maybe they’re a lovely person but you like Kirk and they like Picard–but signs that they’ll be a good partner to someone.

Here are a few.  I bet there’ll be better ones in the comments.

  • They communicate, early and often, about what they’re thinking and feeling, and they give you chances to do the same.
  • They introduce you to their friends and want to meet your friends.
  • They have a rich life outside of you. It can be many different things–job, hobby, friends, family–but they have something that makes them engaged and energized and has nothing to do with you.
  • They’re excited by the things that make you different, not just the things that make you conventionally attractive.
  • They ask you for your opinion and advice as often as they offer theirs.
  • They’re willing to do un-fun, un-sexy stuff with you; when you need someone to hold your hand in the ER or take you to the airport at rush hour, they’re there for you.
  • When talking about previous relationships that didn’t work out, they admit fault and regret.
  • They always ask you before making a decision that affects you, whether it’s trivial like “where to sit in the theater” or major like “whether to have sex tonight.”
  • They respect your decisions and emotions even when you can’t “logically” explain them.
  • You feel safe disagreeing with them, calling them out when they screw up, or telling them you don’t want to do something with them.
  • They set boundaries with you sometimes, and they do it in a matter-of-fact, respectful way.

Your mileage may vary, some bad people will have a few green flags, some good people will be missing a few, all opinions given are only opinions, et cetera.  But when you’re considering making a new person a major part of your life, I think it’s important to think not just about “are there no bad signs?” but about “are there any good signs?”

P.S. While I was in the middle of writing this post, Captain Awkward put up a post on the exact same subject!  Curse you, synchronicity!  But if you don’t mind reinforcing my terrible case of Blog Envy, I highly recommend you check her post out too.

Perfectionism and love

For this week’s theme of perfectionism, today I offer you these wise words from Marc Hack – place them in your heart. I was inspired this week by the book Real Love, by Greg Baer. Show yourself to others, warts and all. Only then will you recognize and receive real love.

Mo

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The Poetics of Impermenance: Jorge Luis Borges on the perception of time, learning and reading —

Jorge Luis Borges was a famous writer, essayist, and poet from Argentina. His first poem, ‘Hymn to the Sea,’ was published in the magazine Grecia. Today, he is recognized as one of the most influential figures in Argentinian literature. With wild imagination and innovative literary skills, he left his mark in the world literature as well – […]

via The Poetics of Impermenance: Jorge Luis Borges on the perception of time, learning and reading —