PORN, a poem

pornography won’t teach you how

to build a life together

pornography won’t teach you how

to get through stormy weather

pornography won’t tell you that

it’s really just a lie

pornography it wants to get

attention on the sly

pornography breaks up the home

and breaks the people in it

pornography’s illusion makes

you think that you can win it

pornography’s a game of chance

no win -it’s lose or draw

when you have watched porn you’ll wish that

you hadn’t ever saw

the filthy images of girls and

women being exploited

the marriages split up before they

had a chance to fight

pornography’s a silent killer

trying to take you down

that’s why you have to watch it in

the middle of the night

‘cause it’s the biggest secret from your

mate that you can keep

“no harm, no foul,” you say but know

your spouse they cannot sleep

they know that your affection is

perverted and divided

and that’s how divorce comes and stays and

that’s how it’s decided

so if you want to keep your marriage

stay away from porn

so many broken marriages

so many lives were torn

from this a harmless bit of

entertainment video

but when the damage happens you’ll see

that it’s time to go

and leave your marriage on the rocks ‘cause

porn has taken over

those images upon the screen are

like a drunken sober

‘cause rarely do they help your marriage

mostly they do harm

so put your porn away and take

your marriage back to charm

if you can put it down you’ll see

the benefits will grow

you will no longer need to watch

that pornographic show

you’ll stop confusing love and sex and

you’ll begin to wonder

just how you could’ve let pornography

take you down under

there’s hope for all the porno fans

who will come clean today

so put away the porn and join

your spouse in a new way

forgiveness is a godly plan with

God is where you’ll stay

come back to love come back to truth and

PUT THE PORN AWAY

(C) Copyright -Stacey M. Patterson (Mo) and MugglestonesAndMayhem. All rights reserved..

Crazy & Free

My pride is hurt, i’m CRAZY blue

But it’s no longer about you

You loved me and you left me too

Enjoy yourself with someone new

Now go along your merry way

You’re in my past where I can’t stay

And if you think you’ve stepped on me

Well, rest assured, I’m finally

FREE!

(C) Copyright -Stacey M. Patterson (Mo) and MugglestonesAndMayhem. All rights reserved.

Green flags are important too- dating

Kudos to Cliff for this insight into looking on the bright side of dating. I usually am quick to watch for red flags with “new recruits,” LOL, but I have now learned that watching for positive attributes is also a worthy endeavor. Check out Cliff”s wisdom below. Cliff, thanks for you optimistic outlook!

Mo

Gren Flags

There’s a lot of articles out there about “red flags” to watch out for when you’re dating someone.  My favorite is the discussion of “Darth Vaders” in the comments to this post by Captain Awkward. The concept can certainly be used for victim-blaming–saying “why didn’t you spot all the red flags?” is a great way to kick someone when they’re down–but it’s a good tool for someone facing the dating world.

A couple years back, I went on a date with a guy, jokingly disagreed with him about some silly thing I don’t even remember, and he hit me.  Straight-up slapped me on the arm, hard enough to hurt, not hard enough to bruise.  He wasn’t my boyfriend or anything; this was our second date.  I yelled “Hey!” and he started laughing and told me it was a joke and it’s not like he really hit hit me, and I was probably taking everything soseriously because I was an uptight feminist, but he was willing to forgive me for that so long as I went ahead and laughed with him at this wonderful joke he’d made.

He called me for a third date and I did not call back.  I was closer than I’d like to admit to being sucked into the “it was a joke! horseplay! are you really going to hold that against him?” thing, but then I thought in terms of red flags.  Physically striking someone on a date is one of the reddest flags there is.  Even though I couldn’t quite convince myself that the hitting itself was wrong, I could understand that it was a sign of wrong things coming.  I think that understanding saved me a lot of pain.

But the mere absence of red flags doesn’t really say anything good about a person, does it?  “I went on a date with the most wonderful guy!  I don’t think he’ll emotionally or physically abuse me!  What a catch!”

So let’s talk about green flags.  (Um.  White flags?  …Cyan flags?)  Signs that someone is mature enough for a relationship, that they have a healthy attitude toward relationships, and that they have the potential to be a caring and responsible partner.  This isn’t about compatibility–maybe they’re a lovely person but you like Kirk and they like Picard–but signs that they’ll be a good partner to someone.

Here are a few.  I bet there’ll be better ones in the comments.

  • They communicate, early and often, about what they’re thinking and feeling, and they give you chances to do the same.
  • They introduce you to their friends and want to meet your friends.
  • They have a rich life outside of you. It can be many different things–job, hobby, friends, family–but they have something that makes them engaged and energized and has nothing to do with you.
  • They’re excited by the things that make you different, not just the things that make you conventionally attractive.
  • They ask you for your opinion and advice as often as they offer theirs.
  • They’re willing to do un-fun, un-sexy stuff with you; when you need someone to hold your hand in the ER or take you to the airport at rush hour, they’re there for you.
  • When talking about previous relationships that didn’t work out, they admit fault and regret.
  • They always ask you before making a decision that affects you, whether it’s trivial like “where to sit in the theater” or major like “whether to have sex tonight.”
  • They respect your decisions and emotions even when you can’t “logically” explain them.
  • You feel safe disagreeing with them, calling them out when they screw up, or telling them you don’t want to do something with them.
  • They set boundaries with you sometimes, and they do it in a matter-of-fact, respectful way.

Your mileage may vary, some bad people will have a few green flags, some good people will be missing a few, all opinions given are only opinions, et cetera.  But when you’re considering making a new person a major part of your life, I think it’s important to think not just about “are there no bad signs?” but about “are there any good signs?”

P.S. While I was in the middle of writing this post, Captain Awkward put up a post on the exact same subject!  Curse you, synchronicity!  But if you don’t mind reinforcing my terrible case of Blog Envy, I highly recommend you check her post out too.

The Poetics of Impermenance: Jorge Luis Borges on the perception of time, learning and reading —

Jorge Luis Borges was a famous writer, essayist, and poet from Argentina. His first poem, ‘Hymn to the Sea,’ was published in the magazine Grecia. Today, he is recognized as one of the most influential figures in Argentinian literature. With wild imagination and innovative literary skills, he left his mark in the world literature as well – […]

via The Poetics of Impermenance: Jorge Luis Borges on the perception of time, learning and reading —